Some while ago because of certain reasons I found myself in a workgroup sitting in a half circle with about ten other people of mixed ages and genders. We were supposed to discuss how a person might find intrinsic motivation to get out of a slump and a state of low confidence.

The person who was leading the workgroup was guiding the discussion down the path of positive assertions about oneself: "I am good enough", "I got this" etc. And so it went.

As I was quietly considering how I'm usually motivating myself and how it didn't line up with where she was leading the discussion she turned to me and asked for my opinion what someones internal dialogue might look like to get the motivation to do something. I answered along the lines of "I'm tired of being such a weak loser!"

She looked at me in a kind of stunned silence for a moment. Obviously not expecting that particular answer, the other people shifting around awkwardly and then the workgroup lead said "Alright let's move on now....".

I've noticed this often when dealing with topics that concern personal growth. In general people tend to be biased towards optimism about themselves and resists any sort of idea that they might just not be good enough. One could speculate or theorise about the psychological reasons for this but that's not the main point.

Most people seem to start off imagining themselves already being the sort of person that they want to be and affirm it with internal dialogue instead of looking at all the reasons why that's not true. When we want to be something that we aren't it follows that who we currently are has not been enough to get there. Positive affirmation mantras are just a psyop to feel comfortable about ourself.

To really affect change we need to become a whole different person in whatever dimension we want to progress. A person who has different feelings, thoughts and actions in that dimension.

The best way to do that is to hijack the most powerful motivating emotion that humans have. Disgust.

To be more fit you have to be disgusted by how you feel and look like shit.
To be more orderly you have to be disgusted how much of a slob you are.
To be more intelligent you have to be disgusted about how fucking dumb you are.

You need to use disgust to your advantage to force change in yourself. Positive messaging is lying to yourself that everything is alright and there is no urgency to do anything.